I am sitting in my nice comfortable room in my parents house, typing on my iPad, listening to Mumford and Sons on repeat. And all I can think about is how scary I find this world.
I was watching Star Wars episode 1 a few weeks ago... The one i thought was the best movie ever when i was 8. Apart from the slightly awkward acting in it and the infamous jar jar binks, i thought it was alright. But what struck me were the wise words of yoda, 'fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering'. This struck me a bit, but i eventually decided i disagreed with it. A few konths ago I was watching the dark night rises at the cinema, which basically said fear was a good thing. Again, I'm not convinced.
At this precise moment I am scared, my blog title shows that. It is no longer 'me @ cliff', it is 'me @'. I feel so stupid and selfish sometimes for feeling like this, but I also dont think I am alone in how I feel. In one sense I trust God totally in leading me, but in the other sense I am so scared that I will screw it up, and each day I wake up wondering what will happen when I get up. It's almost as if everyday life scares me a bit, and every bit of me hates to admit it. I want to be strong and I'm just not.
So Im half way through the Mumford and Sons album feeling sorry for myself, wondering what on earth I am doing, and missing my fiance like mad. I feel like a bit of a lightweight saying this is hard, but it is. I have such a cushy life in so many ways but I also feel like I need to be honest with myself. In many ways i feel like I need someone to kick me up the backside, but I am starting to realise that person has to be myself if I am going to make any real change. I also know that the direction I need to be kicked is towards God.
Maybe I am so scared that I am standing still, like I am gripping on to the side of the bridge with the bungee rope attached being absolutely pointless. I can see the fall, but I am too scared to jump. Maybe this is a big issue I need to get through.
I realise that this is probably more suited to a journal than a blog, but I dont think many people read this thing any way, and maybe someone can relate out there can relate to it. So sorry if you were expecting something a bit different. But what I want to say is mainly to myself... Fear will not cripple me.
Tuesday, 23 October 2012
Sunday, 21 October 2012
Who is Marriage for?
Well... I thought I'd start with an easy topic to write about, which isn't controversial whatsoever. Woops.
The whole concept of Marriage is being heavily challenged at the moment, which is making lots of people think, come under criticism, and also instigating the most important conversation on relationships of the 21st Century. There are loud voices on both sides of the argument, with Mr Cameron and Clegg saying that Marriage should be an opportunity which can be taken between a man and a woman, a man and a man, and a woman and a woman. Then there is the side which wants to stick to the traditional man and woman/woman and man formula, with the coalition for marriage seeming to be the loudest voice on the subject.
This is a subject that I find so difficult, a one that I have had to really examine myself in and look at the state of my heart. I know that in the past I have had prejudiced thoughts, been ignorant to the subject, and struggled with the concept of homosexuals having sexual relationships with someone of the same gender. I think that this is quite a common thing in the church, and especially in the evangelical tradition (which I am proud to be part of) and is something I believe the Church should repent on. We are part of a tradition that loves! Loves, family, friends, neighbours, enemies. Surely this includes homosexuals. The call to love is a powerful one and it can change peoples lives.
One account keeps coming to my head. When Jesus meets the woman at the well (John 4), he loves first, he engages with her as a friend, like no one else in that time would do, and he does it in one of the most inappropriate places, yet in complete purity. Jesus knows her, knows her past and yet still speaks to her in a way that loves and respects her and talks to her as a person, who he knows has done wrong. in John 8 he
also states that the person without sin should cast the first stone, and then calls the woman to sin no more.
This is nothing that has not been quoted and used before, but is something I find extremely significant. we are to love, respect and defend people who have gone wrong.
But what about the people who don't believe they have gone wrong, but instead that they were born the way they are. This is claimed by so many homosexuals and is a claim I believe we should take seriously. Does this not mean we shouldn't love and defend people? I think not. I find it an obvious thing for us to do.
Then I go back to the passage in Genesis 2, where Adam and Eve first meet... Man and Woman... Husband and Wife... Mother and Father. I know there is always the comment that 'it was never Adam and Dave', which is too often followed by a condescending chuckle. But there is something about looking at God's intended creation, the fact that 'That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh'. But even Paul says that it is better not to be married, because it can restrict you because of your responsibilities to your other half and children. This being said he does acknowledge that marriage is good if their passions are too strong (1 Corinthians 7). So marriage is between a man and a woman according to Genesis 2, and although homosexual relations are not the focus of sin in the bible, the practice is often used to emphasize sin (this being said so are many heterosexual relations.
The stance I often hear and probably the one I adhere to most closely is the fact view that homosexuality in itself isn't wrong, but homosexual relationships are. This is now, and has been for some time my default stance on the subject, and I am yet to find a convincing theological argument to challenge that, which I am very much looking for at the moment (so if anyone has any suggestions, please comment).
What I am most concerned about is the marginalisation of people who believe what I believe. If the definition of marriage is changed, it will be impossible according to EU law, for churches not to accept gay couples to be married in churches, by ministers, whether they believe its right or not. The infringement on freedoms for belief in my opinion is much greater than the infringement on the freedoms of homosexuals in my opinion.
For this reason I do not support the proposals from the government for Gay marriage. One day I might want to become ordained, but in order to do that I do not want my beliefs to be sacrificed, and I would probably not make such a step if that took place.
If we are country that is for people having these beliefs then it is important that these opinions can be aired. This is just the impact it would have on religious freedom. What about the impact on family life, education and Fatherhood & Motherhood (btw, good youth work practice includes both genders being represented in the leaders, should this not be the same in household?).
These are just some of the questions I have on this subject, and I have to say my mind isn't made, but I believe in the authority of the bible and my best reading of it has led me to this position, and I believe that that book is still relevant for today.
The whole concept of Marriage is being heavily challenged at the moment, which is making lots of people think, come under criticism, and also instigating the most important conversation on relationships of the 21st Century. There are loud voices on both sides of the argument, with Mr Cameron and Clegg saying that Marriage should be an opportunity which can be taken between a man and a woman, a man and a man, and a woman and a woman. Then there is the side which wants to stick to the traditional man and woman/woman and man formula, with the coalition for marriage seeming to be the loudest voice on the subject.
This is a subject that I find so difficult, a one that I have had to really examine myself in and look at the state of my heart. I know that in the past I have had prejudiced thoughts, been ignorant to the subject, and struggled with the concept of homosexuals having sexual relationships with someone of the same gender. I think that this is quite a common thing in the church, and especially in the evangelical tradition (which I am proud to be part of) and is something I believe the Church should repent on. We are part of a tradition that loves! Loves, family, friends, neighbours, enemies. Surely this includes homosexuals. The call to love is a powerful one and it can change peoples lives.
One account keeps coming to my head. When Jesus meets the woman at the well (John 4), he loves first, he engages with her as a friend, like no one else in that time would do, and he does it in one of the most inappropriate places, yet in complete purity. Jesus knows her, knows her past and yet still speaks to her in a way that loves and respects her and talks to her as a person, who he knows has done wrong. in John 8 he
also states that the person without sin should cast the first stone, and then calls the woman to sin no more.
This is nothing that has not been quoted and used before, but is something I find extremely significant. we are to love, respect and defend people who have gone wrong.
But what about the people who don't believe they have gone wrong, but instead that they were born the way they are. This is claimed by so many homosexuals and is a claim I believe we should take seriously. Does this not mean we shouldn't love and defend people? I think not. I find it an obvious thing for us to do.
Then I go back to the passage in Genesis 2, where Adam and Eve first meet... Man and Woman... Husband and Wife... Mother and Father. I know there is always the comment that 'it was never Adam and Dave', which is too often followed by a condescending chuckle. But there is something about looking at God's intended creation, the fact that 'That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh'. But even Paul says that it is better not to be married, because it can restrict you because of your responsibilities to your other half and children. This being said he does acknowledge that marriage is good if their passions are too strong (1 Corinthians 7). So marriage is between a man and a woman according to Genesis 2, and although homosexual relations are not the focus of sin in the bible, the practice is often used to emphasize sin (this being said so are many heterosexual relations.
The stance I often hear and probably the one I adhere to most closely is the fact view that homosexuality in itself isn't wrong, but homosexual relationships are. This is now, and has been for some time my default stance on the subject, and I am yet to find a convincing theological argument to challenge that, which I am very much looking for at the moment (so if anyone has any suggestions, please comment).
What I am most concerned about is the marginalisation of people who believe what I believe. If the definition of marriage is changed, it will be impossible according to EU law, for churches not to accept gay couples to be married in churches, by ministers, whether they believe its right or not. The infringement on freedoms for belief in my opinion is much greater than the infringement on the freedoms of homosexuals in my opinion.
For this reason I do not support the proposals from the government for Gay marriage. One day I might want to become ordained, but in order to do that I do not want my beliefs to be sacrificed, and I would probably not make such a step if that took place.
If we are country that is for people having these beliefs then it is important that these opinions can be aired. This is just the impact it would have on religious freedom. What about the impact on family life, education and Fatherhood & Motherhood (btw, good youth work practice includes both genders being represented in the leaders, should this not be the same in household?).
These are just some of the questions I have on this subject, and I have to say my mind isn't made, but I believe in the authority of the bible and my best reading of it has led me to this position, and I believe that that book is still relevant for today.
Saturday, 20 October 2012
Hello!
This is the first blog that I have written for some time now, and I thought it was time for something a bit new and different.
If anyone has read the blog that was written while I was at Cliff College, then you will realise the title isn't very original, but I felt that things are changing so much at the moment that I can't really say where I'm at. I find it all quite exciting.
I would also like to apologise in advance if you are expecting something that is updated regularly. I have a sneeking suspicion that isn't going to be the case, however I will try and have something relatively frequently.
The reason for all this is because I thought it might be helpful for me to write some stuff down in a place which is made for opinion...the blogosphere! I have found that posting my opinions on facebook, however short and open they may be, is often recieved negatively. I don't want to offend anyone, but I also don't want to feel guilty/stupid/ignorant about what I believe or what I am discovering about the world.
I see myself as being a small voice in the crowd, who probably doesn't have anything more important to say than anyone else, but think is worth saying. Lets see what happens with it.
Andrew
This is the first blog that I have written for some time now, and I thought it was time for something a bit new and different.
If anyone has read the blog that was written while I was at Cliff College, then you will realise the title isn't very original, but I felt that things are changing so much at the moment that I can't really say where I'm at. I find it all quite exciting.
I would also like to apologise in advance if you are expecting something that is updated regularly. I have a sneeking suspicion that isn't going to be the case, however I will try and have something relatively frequently.
The reason for all this is because I thought it might be helpful for me to write some stuff down in a place which is made for opinion...the blogosphere! I have found that posting my opinions on facebook, however short and open they may be, is often recieved negatively. I don't want to offend anyone, but I also don't want to feel guilty/stupid/ignorant about what I believe or what I am discovering about the world.
I see myself as being a small voice in the crowd, who probably doesn't have anything more important to say than anyone else, but think is worth saying. Lets see what happens with it.
Andrew
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